a modest proposal

A modest Proposal

In consideration of the ghastly and wretched misconduct of members of the Fort Lee board of education with a particular emphasis on Jimmy Park, Helen Yoon, Peter Suh and the entirety of the Fort Lee boe, including the not sitting members who will be identified as a stalkerish attorney, a former school boards employee engaged in the dismantling of the district from within due to some agenda of schadenfreude, which suggests deeper personal challenges lay ahead, and other little vermin scurrying about engaged in their dark deeds.

This modest proposal is submitted in due course, and set forth below, as a means to move the district towards a track of humility and centering to focus the district on the needs of children above all else.

Every board member shall as a consequence for their gross and selfish mishandling as trustees of the district will arrange to individually meet with each hard working community member in their individual homes imploring each citizen for forgiveness, for their inveterate lying and scandalous conduct.  After the completion of their daily contrition each boe member shall return to their own homes place a conical shaped hat on their heads and stand near an angle in a room of 90 degrees or more for no less than 2 hours.

All current board members shall henceforth agree to resign their positions and publically state to their little reporter weasel that they have been egregiously in violation of school codes of conduct by their adolescent, dare I say, juvenile sorority like behavior, and hereby tender their unilateral resignations as members of the board and agree to sell their homes and move from this jurisdiction as a self imposed banishment   

And lastly, but most importantly, within a fortnight of the aforementioned community apologies to the citizens a special meeting will be arranged and invitation shall be extended to Mr. Engravalle, former superintendent who was not provided with a modicum of empathy and compassion during the illness and death of his wife to come to this special board of education meeting where there will be a platform built for this public spectacle. Whereby Mr. Engravalle will be entreated to stand on the platform.  Each individual board member shall queue up in single file behind Mr. Engravalle ask him to remove his pantaloons and kiss his alabaster kiester 10 times each whilst humming, “This Land is your Land” by Woody Guthrie.