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Health & Fitness

Pearls of Wisdom

The End of the World

The raging white eyes of the X-man Mutant Storm raged as she unleashed the fearsome storm today on the hapless humans who no longer deserve to inhabit the planet. Envisioning Mjolnir smashing into the clouds, thunder permeating our world, it is obvious that Ragnarok  “Doom of the Gods”, is upon us. A crack has appeared in the Great Sword of Odin and our demise has been presaged.  The great Wolf Fenrir will be released to devour Odin in the final battle.  A new world will arise from the ashes where the Gods and mankind will live in an era of eternal peace.  Wickedness and misery shall no longer exist.

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December 21, 2012 – The Day of Reckoning

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The fiscal cliff shall not be overcome.  The staunch right-wing Republicans have reprimanded John Boehner for considering a compromise with President Obama.  How dare he consider a bi-partisan solution!  Does he not understand that the citizens do not matter as long as the Republican Party rules?

750 Mayors and other leaders band together to promote new, more restrictive gun legislation.   In the meantime, President Obama muses on the political implications of fighting for stricter gun control. What if he loses votes and can’t get reelected for a third term? Oh, sorry, only Bloomberg is allowed to do that!

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Bashar Al-Assad rained cluster bombs on the civilians of Marea yesterday.    He will rule over Syria forever, even if there is no population left to rule over.

The Palestine Premier, Salam Fayyad, has called for a boycott of Israeli goods.   It appears that Israeli factories will now have to cease to produce burqas and niqabs.  It is difficult to decipher if the Israeli economy can survive the loss!

Hurrah!  The 1960’s have returned to all of California, not just Berkeley.  Everyone is smoking marijuana again.

Another Madoff (Peter) goes to prison. Oh, sorry, that is just another normal day.

Seth Jones, an African American, is expected to be a top draft pick for the NHL. That really is the end of the world!

Truffles are becoming scarcer in the world.  The French are declaring a day of mourning. 

If Congress does not pass a new Farm Bill, milk may be $ 8.00 per gallon.  Kids better start getting used to eating spinach and okra. 

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The Fort Lee BOE plans a reorganization meeting on January 1, 2013.  Four new Board members shall enter the halls of dysfunctionality.    The mischievous God, Loki, lurks and shall be viewing the proceedings with disdain.  On January 2, the enigmatic superintendent, Steve Engravalle, is scheduled to return.  Will he decide to rededicate himself to the welfare of the Fort Lee children or decide to twitter away into the “Secret Life of Walter Mitty”?

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Have a Great Day if you survive it!!

 

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