Pearls of Wisdom

A little comedy in the news.

Follow me on www.twitter.com/pearlsofwidsm14.

In 2008, George Carlin, a great comedian and political satirist passed. As I was reading the Saturday New York Times this week, I could not help thinking that Carlin could have made an entire comedy routine out of this week’s news. Carlin had an amazing perspective on the world. He seemed to be able to find humor in the most absurd places. The following are a few articles that I believe he may have incorporated into his act:

(1)    Texas is considering secession from the Union. They do not want to be part of any country where someone like Barack Obama could be elected president. It is difficult to believe that the citizens of a progressive state like Texas, where the six-gun still rules, where they have executed more prisoners in the last decade than the other forty-nine states, could possibly think that way. Larry Scott Gilmore, a perennial candidate for governor, stated that he is going to change his name legally to “Larry Secede Gilmore”. Tens of thousands of signatures on petitions have been submitted to the White House, demanding a response. There is a rumor that they have requested permission to exhume the body of John C. Calhoun to lead the charge. Go Texas! Soon we will have a lone “Lone Star State.”

(2) Mohammed Morsi, newly appointed President of Egypt, has issued a presidential decree that gives him unlimited power. Critics have described this edict as the equivalent as appointing himself a modern “pharaoh”. One might say it is simply the reincarnation of Hosni Mubarak with a Muslim Brotherhood headband.  Recently, at President Obama’s request, Mr. Morsi became the key negotiator in the Israel – Hamas conflict and was credited with initiating the cease fire. So it should not be surprising that he now thinks himself as Allah, or God, whichever the reader prefers. One might remember that on April, 2009, Obama prostrated himself to kiss the ring of the Saudi Arabian King. Morsi might have witnessed this event and is now going to insist that Obama kiss him somewhere else to thank him for his assistance with Hamas. 

(3)    Peter Jackson is at it again. “The Hobbit”, in essence a prequel to the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy, is being produced in New Zealand, the new home of “Hollywood” movies in a series of “three movies”.  “The Hobbit” is a brilliant ride into the fantasy world of Middle-earth. However, it was written by Tolkien as one book. And although Tolkien wrote other works regarding life in Middle-earth, they were never integrated into “The Hobbit” or the “Lord of the Rings”. Since J.R.R. Tolkien hasn’t written any more prequels since September 1973 when he passed, it must be assumed that Peter Jackson intends to exhume the body and somehow convince Tolkien to agree to assist him with the project. 

(4)    (p.A1) Finally, major breakthroughs are currently being made in the field of “artificial intelligence”, technically called  “deep learning”. New software is being developed in the areas of “seeing, listening, and thinking”. To put it simply, scientists have now developed a system of programming where robots/ computers can “think and learn”. Our immediate goal should be to to replace Congress with these robots. It would clearly eliminate partisanship. And artificial or not, it would be the first sign of intelligence in either the House or the Senate in many years.   Most American citizens would testify to that in a court of law. 


We live in Carlin’s World, a world where insanity prevails and chaos rules. If we don’t laugh, we will surely cry. Between bodies being discovered at Rockaway Beach as a result of Hurricane Sandy to “Chia seeds” (remember “Chia Pets”) being a new source of nutritional food, articles in the New York Times carry us from the absurd to the ridiculous. I look forward every morning to be entertained. 

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Tracy November 26, 2012 at 09:43 PM
This was great fun to read H! Thank you!


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