Pearls of Wisdom

In the wake of the Casey Anthony case, it might be prudent to do a little self reflection in terms of parental responsibility. It is fair to say that a large majority of the public believed that Casey Anthony was guilty of murdering her daughter, Caylee. Even if she was innocent, it is unlikely that she will be considered the national role model for an outstanding parent. 

Fort Lee is a large town, but a small community. In the past three months, there have been two frightening incidents regarding children that should wake us up to the responsibilities involved with being a parent. Speaking for myself, I find parenting to be the greatest gift that I have ever received. However, that being said, it is a difficult task under the best of circumstances, as there is no rule book or manual that truly prepares us for the awesome responsibility of being a parent. (My apologies to Dr. Spock, but I am more likely to use Mr. Spock for my process of decision-making.)

Before I engage in a minor tirade on Fort Lee parents, it must be made abundantly clear that I am far from the perfect parent. However people who truly know my family understand that my wife and I make every effort to be involved in our children’s lives and to give them the time and attention that they require. 

The first incident, on March 26, 2011, was the horrific situation of a group of teenagers being locked for fourteen hours in a police van. We cringe at the thought of such negligence on the part of the individuals on our police force who may have been responsible. However it appears that very little attention has been given to the parents who, while apparently out of town, allowed these teenagers to hold a wild party until 1:30 a.m. at their home, with reportedly drugs and alcohol on the premises. There was apparently no adult supervision whatsoever. These parents escaped community scrutiny because of the police van incident, but nevertheless were obviously remiss in their parental responsibilities. Now these teenagers will eventually be much wealthier than before, but will their parents have learned anything from this tragedy?

The more frightening incident, on June 15, was the deranged man, Luis Caulderon of Fairview, soliciting young children at School #1. Since he was unsuccessful, thank the Lord, the court will undoubtedly refer him for psychological counseling or give him thirty days in jail and then we can all worry that he will return again to endanger our children. As a parent, I find this type of menace the most frustrating, because there is so little that we can do to protect our children from the perverts of the world. As parents, we desire to breed independence in our children. But I find it difficult to understand those parents who let young children walk to school on their own, or parents who drop their child off in front of the school and drive away before visually certifying that the child has entered the building.

As a regular attendee to the Board of Education meetings, when I am not coaching, I commend all the parents who participate. But I always find it amazing that so many parents blame teachers and the school system for their own lack of parenting skills and lack of involvement in their childrens’ lives. At one meeting last year, an extremely hostile parent verbally assaulted the Board for the harsh punishment her son had received for failing a random drug test. She was far more concerned that his rights may have been violated than the fact that her son was doing drugs. 

Children require interminable patience; demand infinite attention; often require lifelong funding. It would be my recommendation that if you are not willing to pay the price, please refrain! That is why God invented birth control, even though the Pope, in his infinite lack of wisdom, does not agree. If anyone can enlighten me as to how a parent can afford six or more children and be a conscientious parent, please be my guest. I can barely manage three and still retain my sanity.

My experience with Fort Lee parents has been mostly positive. But in light of the Casey Anthony case, perhaps we can all strive a little bit harder to be better parents, to better protect our children from those individuals that would choose to harm them, and to inspire our children to be better parents in the future when their time comes.