My father in law passed away about a month ago from a terminal illness. Toward the very end of his struggle, he received Hospice care. I must admit, I was not very familiar with what Hospice care was or what it entailed. I knew that one of my Fort Lee neighbors worked in Hospice care and I sought guidance and information from her. Eve Kohut has been a Hospice Social Worker, providing in home care, for over 13 years. After having some discussions with Eve, it was clear that she is one of the angels on earth.
Eve explained to me that Hospice is a program for people who are no longer seeking aggressive treatment. It is for patients who are seeking palliative care, which is “comfort care.” In order to be eligible for Hospice care, a doctor has to certify that to the best of his/her knowledge, the patient has a terminal diagnosis, of any illness, with a 6-month prognosis. Eve said that there are many misconceptions about Hospice care. The biggest one being that Hospice helps you end your life as a form of assisted suicide. However, the Hospice philosophy is about letting nature take its course while making sure the patient is comfortable and promoting good quality of life. When I asked Eve why she had chosen this career, she said that in all the sadness, “I am able to help people at a very difficult time and make it a little easier and that is very rewarding.”
Eve visits patients in their home and helps patients and their families with what to expect and how to cope with the end of life, by providing emotional support and counseling. Part of her job is to evaluate the patient and walk where they are walking and help them on their final journey the way they want to travel it. Eve also provides the opportunity for the patient to work out issues with family, make final plans, and make someone feel he/she is not alone in the final stage of their journey.
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Eve said that she tries to provide a safe environment for terminally ill patients to be able to address their worries, fears and concerns. According to Eve, “people die very much the way they lived their lives." This struck me as uniquely profound. Eve also discussed a “life review” that many patients experience. This is when patients reflect back on their life and may evaluate how they handled certain events in their life, what they were proud of and not so proud of.
This “life review” made me think, not only how I react and handle certain things in my life, but how I see things happening in Fort Lee. If you attend any of the public meetings in town, you can witness some of the petty and vindictive politics that is unfortunately pervasive in Fort Lee. The spurious charges, personal attacks, nepotism, and the actions of behind the scenes players, do not educate one child, protect one citizen or improve the overall community.
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Eve deals with life and death at its essence and can’t be bothered with the trivial nature of local politics. I think many of us, me included, can learn from Eve as to how to conduct themselves, what are their true motivations and are they doing what is right or merely engaging in politics at its worst. May it be many years from now, but when you experience that “life review,” how will you answer?
For more information about Hospice care, please refer to these websites.
