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Health & Fitness

Yes, we can! Celebrating Same-Sex Marriage

Yesterday, October 18, the NJ State Supreme Court ruled that same-sex marriages can proceed in our state, effective Monday, October 21.  Alleluia!

There's a long history here--longer, in fact, than many Christians know.  Historian John Boswell found liturgies, worship services, for men committing themselves to men in the 15th century (a time when all marriages were performed by government officials, with separate blessings in churches.  Same-sex marriages weren't legal, but blessings were.  I'm not clear what happened between the 15th and 20th centuries--more historical research is needed.

In the 1980's in the United States, as civil rights movements for various marginalized groups progressed, some clergy in the Episcopal Church began to bless same-sex unions, without either permission or censure.  Why?  Many of us believe that sexuality, whether gay, straight, transgendered or bisexual, is a gift from God, given at birth to humans made in God's image.  When two people who love each other seek God's blessing and the support of the church on a life-long commitment, it only seems right to honor that desire.  It is ironic that often many same-sex couples eagerly seek a blessing and legal recognition of their commitment while many straight people live together without benefit of marriage or blessing.

Not everyone in the Episcopal Church agrees with same-sex marriage--we don't have  church teachings on social policy that all members of the church must embrace.  Episcopalians do however take their prayer book, and their liturgies, very seriously--it's through the liturgy that our church polity is expressed.   Many gay and lesbian Episcopalians came out.  They and their straight allies educated people, advocated for civil rights, and demonstrated how much stronger the church is for their presence.  In 2009 and 2012  the ordination of gay and lesbian people as clergy, and liturgies for same sex blessings, marriages, and unions was approved by the national Episcopal Church.  

Here's a story showing why same-sex marriage is important.   Two female friends of mine, deeply in love, asked that their commitment be blessed in a church in 1999.  It was, in a parish ceremony, without much public fanfare for fear of protest.  In 2007, when New Jersey offered civil unions, the couple had a smaller second ceremony in a church, but with a civil union license.  They still faced barriers in their workplaces, where benefits weren't offered to same-sex "civilly unioned" partners, and in the writing of wills and other legal documents.  Rights were not equal to those of married people, although according to the law they ought to have been.  In 2011 New York legalized gay marriage, and this couple were married to each other for a third time, , so that they could finally share health benefits.  We'll see whether they will find it necessary either for faith or for the law to be married a fourth time in NJ!!   

The Bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Newark wrote a letter to the diocese yesterday rejoicing in the Supreme Court's decision.  I too am delighted, and pray that, in the words of prayers in our marriage ceremony, 
" all married persons who have witnessed these vows [and this change in the law opening marriage to all couples who desire it] may find their lives strengthened and their loyalties confirmed." 

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