August already?

It’s the middle of August, and I’m getting the “back to school” jitters.  I spent the month of June on sabbatical from church work, so I had days to choose what to do, at what speed, and without worrying much about what got done.  Even  in July and August, back at church, my routine is slower as people are on vacation and meetings are few and far between.  

Yet sometimes I find myself anxious, not quite able to enjoy the gifts of rest, time, summer.  Turning off that worry about “getting things done” is harder than I thought it would be.  What should I do?  Pray, which won’t produce anything, and yet is essential?  Sew some quilt pieces together, or solder some glass?  Lunch with friends?  Take a nap? Definitely not a nap--that’s too indulgent.  "Pray a little, but then get to work," chides the part of me steeped in the Protestant, or perhaps the cultural, work ethic.  

Fortunately, sometimes God drew me in prayer to a deeper place, beyond the over-responsible super-ego.  Or sometimes God met me in the whirring of the sewing machine or the sparkle of glass or leisurely conversations or Sunday morning sleep or worship led by others.

Now, back at work, I feel the urgency of “it’s August already.”  “So much to do” . . . time flies so quickly, wasn't it Easter just yesterday?  Keep focused, keep some motivating anxiety, back to checklists.

Is there a middle way?  A way to do what needs to be done with enough attention to sometimes know God in the doing? A way to stop work and walk in the sun, now while I have the chance, and then return to tasks?  A way to prioritize, to acknowledge limits, to make room for others to work too, a way to live into God’s rhythms? 

Here’s a poem that offers one suggestion:

GENEROUS QUIETUDE

Carry a little quiet inside you

while the world continues

in rush and rage

fighting and frenzy.

Carry a little quiet inside you

so that the worry and war trouble and tumult

do not capture you in their grip.

Tarry in the Son-filled meadow of the heart

beside the still waters

where God’s Spirit refreshes and renews.

Carry so much quiet inside you

that you have some extra calm to share with me.

Source: Safiyah Fosua, United Methodist Board of General Discipleship, found at http://northgaumc.s3.amazonaws.com/Files/Prayer_Calendar/July08PCUMC.pdf